“Let us never know what old age is. Let us know the happiness time brings, not count the years.”— Ausonius
Ausonius was a Roman poet and teacher, and in this quote, he reveals a truth that many of us often forget: You’re never too old for joy, happiness … and love.
If it has come to pass that you are over the age of 60 and have lost your partner, divorced or separated, or not yet found love, take heart. Not only are you not alone in being “single and looking,” but you deserve to find love and companionship. This article intends to help you find exactly what you’re looking for.
First Thing’s First: You Have to Try
Remember when you were 15 and looking for your first “real” summer job? It’s unlikely that employers were beating down your door, head-hunting for someone just like you. Instead, it was you who went out and pounded the pavement looking for work.
Well, you’ll have to do a little of the same in your hope to find love. Yes, it’s possible you’ll “meet-cute” with someone at the grocery store or library. But more likely than not, you’ll find someone you care about with a little research and elbow grease. Here are some tips to get you started:
4 Key Things to Remember When Dating in Your 60s, 70s, and Beyond
1. You’re allowed to decide exactly what you want.
Perhaps you’ve already been married and aren’t looking to marry again. Maybe you simply want someone to travel or go to events with, but you really prefer living alone. Or possibly, you are looking for true love, marriage, and the whole nine yards.
No matter what your relationship or dating goals are, first of all, figure them out now. Next, accept them and go with it!
You can have what you want, but if you’re only vaguely aware of it, you might not ever find what you’re looking for.
Finally, remember to discuss these goals and desires with any potential partners you begin to get close with. It’s better to lay everything out on the table so no one gets hurt. Dating later in life tends to be more pragmatic; there’s no need to play games.
Here’s one more tip: You can have more than one companion.
This might sound greedy or even adulterous at first, but remember — you’re allowed to decide exactly what you want. And if you want one person to go to events with, another to travel with, and another to do other hobbies with (such as cooking, playing golf, or watching movies), that’s okay. This is a common situation that many people over 60 find themselves in, and having multiple companions can be an excellent way to stay social and enjoy life without giving up the independence you’ve cultivated.
2. Exact age doesn’t matter as much as you think.
While people in their 20s and 30s are generally concerned with exact age, there’s no reason you have to be. Broaden your dating age range, and don’t let someone’s older or younger age make you shy away.
What’s more important is the health and wellness of your potential partners — and you! Keep in mind that other seniors searching for love will also care less about your numerical age and more about your health, fitness level, stability, and overall wellness. This leads us to our next point …
3. Don’t get too concerned with your looks.
Sure, looks can make a difference, but they shouldn’t have the same impact on a potential relationship as they did when you were in your 30s. Again, most of what those over 60 are looking for in a partner is a positive attitude, stability, and health and wellness. Pay more attention to things you have in common with others — like hobbies, places where you’d like to travel, music and movies, cuisine, and more.
4. Online dating may not be for you — and that’s okay.
Generally speaking — despite what advertisers often stay — online dating is for people in their 20s, 30s, and 40s. These generations care about the criteria that online dating focuses on: Age, looks, occupation, religion, location, whether someone wants to have a family, etc.
Past 60, these simply are not the things that matter most, which is why meeting face-to-face is often the superior alternative.
How can you meet someone face-to-face? Try these ideas:
- Join groups and clubs in your area
- Try a cooking or baking class
- Get involved with events at your local library
- Audit a class at your local college
- Socialize with friends … and friends of friends
- Look up old acquaintances from high school and college
- Get a part-time job
- Volunteer in your community
- Try speed dating or other dating “events”
Still interested in using the Internet to find a companion? You can still certainly try these dating sites:
- Senior People Meet
- Plenty of Fish
Finding Love in A Retirement Community
If you live in a retirement community, you’ll likely be surrounded with same-aged individuals who may be just as interested in finding someone as you are. The key is to get involved in the events, classes, and activities put on by the community instead of simply staying in your apartment or room. If you’re not one for activities, try at least eating your meals in the communal dining room — or visit a few times a week for coffee or tea and a snack. Be friendly. Strike up conversations with people you don’t know, or ask current acquaintances to introduce you to new people. Even if you only find friends and not love, getting social in your retirement community is certainly a positive endeavor.
The key thing we hope you take away from this article is that you’re never too old for love. It can happen at any age, and it can be just as beautiful and butterfly-inducing as love can be at 16 or 24. Whether you’re looking for marriage and romance, lasting companionship, or just a friend to have dinner with, you can always find someone who will feel as lucky to be with you, as you feel being with them. Good luck!